I’ve discovered the real reasons for children’s birthday parties, at least the reasons according to some interesting bloggers and rather candid friends.
Reasons for the birthday bash:
- So other people recognize how much you love your child.
- A perfect party let’s you show off your creativity and/or wealth.
- Parties allow parents to make business and social connections.
- To rag or brag on other moms, including the hostess.
Call me naïve, but I think most people attend kid birthday parties for the same reason I do—to celebrate the milestone. Still, I had to wonder if I’ve had any mean moms hiding in the mist this party season.
My toddler attended a birthday party for a four-year old. Most of the parents had children at the same school—a school my child does not attend. But they were warm, funny, and seemed to go out of their way to make sure I never felt like an outsider.
Were there any nitpicking mamas at the party? Can you believe her daughter wore sandals instead of tennis shoes? It would be nice if she could let her daughter play instead of circling like a helicopter. I wouldn’t let my kid do chalk art at that age.
A more recent party at a local children’s gym could have spurred even more comments from other moms.
Her daughter should be seated in the music circle, not dancing. I suspect discipline problems.
But of course no one said these things, at least not that I’m aware of.
In the south, we always say, “Bless her heart,” just before we bash on someone. That makes it okay, right?
Oh, bless Karen’s heart. She must have been too busy stuffing her face with hotdogs to keep little Johnny’s hands out of the birthday cake.
So how does one cope with those invisible mean moms?
My mom taught me a long time ago that what people say about me when I’m not around is none of my business.
I can’t give too much energy to what other moms say about me when I leave the picnic table. Unless they are seriously defaming my character, my family, or my business, their idle chatter goes the way of dirty diapers—in the garbage with a vengeance.
To my readers: How do you deal with mean moms, be they real or imagined? Ever had an interesting birthday party experience? Tell the truth, have you ever gotten your gossip on at a children’s event (e.g. soccer game, PTA meeting, etc.)?
I’ve run into a few mean moms, but they’re easy enough to ignore. It’s all about seeing the root of their “meanness.” They’re usually “mean” because of a shortcoming of their own and nothing more. You just have to rise above and celebrate that milestone!
Lindsay recently posted..Making over the outside of my home with BEHR
Thanks Lindsay. Agreed. Rise above the mean.
Birthday parties have turned into such a production! I like it better when it was just a sleepover at a friends house, now every single kid in my son’s class has huge parties at pop up the fun or chuckie cheese. They spend hundreds of dollars and its a little ridiculous to me. And the mean moms are the worst
I have run into more than my fair share of them!
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I’m guilty of throwing my daughter a Chuck E. Cheese party. She had fun, but it was hard to relish the moment. I was running around doing stuff the whole time. I just barely stopped to take a photo of her smashing her first birthday cake.
Birthdays were always made special when I was younger and I continue to do that in my family. Any celebration is done for the birthday person, to make them happy and feel special. It’s never been about anything else. I’m sorry there are mean Moms out there, they should learn better manners.
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Thanks Billie. My mom made me feel special on birthdays. I plan to do the same for my kiddos. Mean moms be darned.
Wow, this is all news to me because well, parents don’t attend birthday parties here. Every one we’ve hosted or dropped a child off at, there are no parents other than the host, it’s all about the kids having fun.
Cat Davis recently posted..Green Giant Steamers Side Dish with Quick Chicken Parmigiana Strips
Wow, Cat that’s interesting. I’ve never been to a party where the parents don’t stay. It almost becomes two parties—one for the kids and the other for the parents.
For the most part, parents always stay at the birthday parties I host or attend, especially for younger children. We usually throw large parties that everyone an attend–parents, siblings, grandparents! The more the merrier for us. I’m talking a backyard picnic or something like that.
I detest all the mom bashing that goes on, online and off line. I try very hard not to judge others, because I am not them, I do not walk in their shoes, I don’t know how their life has been, and I have no idea what kind of a life they are currently living. It’s just not cool to vocalize parenting opinions at all. I don’t even respond when people tell me something snotty about my daughter, because they have NO IDEA what my child went through prior to the adoption. No idea.
Okay, I’m turning mean.
Jennifer recently posted..Zero Waste Philosophy – Rethinking How We Dispose of Trash
Thanks Jennifer. Agreed, moms shouldn’t judge or be judged. Fortunately, my mean moms haven’t revealed themselves. Ignorance is bliss.
As a Grandmother who has hosted 7 out of 8 of Amara’s birthday parties I have watched things from a different vantage point. I haven’t found the mothers to be mean but boy — birthday parties have been taken to a whole new level! I do think they become a bit of a competition!
Grandma Kc recently posted..Counting Ladybugs: The First Tradition
I have yet to attend a kid birthday party (my son is 15 months) where there are mean mom. Ug, I don’t want to think about it. I’m hoping to luck out and be surrounded by a circle of caring parents, lol. We shall see.
Kelly @ A Girl Worth Saving recently posted..Paleo Menu: Halloween Candy
I totally agree about birthday parties being turned into an event. For me, it has and forever will be about the birthday person and celebrating them. No mean mom encounters here, but then again I know how to ignore very well.
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