Too hot for your daughter?
My toddler received a pair of sandals as a gift. In the box, they were cute. Out the box, they were sophisticated. On her feet, they looked a little, well, um, they looked a little sexy. Not totally provocative, but just a little saucier than expected. Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the gift. Mama didn’t raise no ingrate. But it did get me to thinking.
Why are little girls wearing naughty shoes?
Naughty is naturally subjective. What I find naughty, you may consider tame and vice versa. I’m talking about super chunky soles, six-inch heels, and mid-thigh boots.
Teens and tweens are rocking these styles. If an adult woman wants to wear come-hither heels, that is her prerogative. But what is the purpose of our young girls looking like they are 30 seconds from the pole? And I’m not talking about the North Pole.
If it’s to be taller, that can be accomplished with a basic pump. If it’s to feel attractive, let’s get to work on the inside. If it’s to be stylish, the world abounds with fabulous, age-appropriate gear. In fact, with so many affordably-priced retailers clamoring for their cash, girls today have a much easier road to fashion goddess than previous generations.
My daughter’s shoes. Cute. Harmless, right?
I rarely wear heels higher than three inches. I love my ballerina flats. This is not a fashion or style debate, but rather a conversation about letting our little girls be little girls. Sex-kitten shoes and bikini waxing and boyfriends and virgin margaritas (just wait for the real thing little girl) will all be there when it’s time.
My daughter loves her new sandals. I love her plain, clumsy-looking tennis shoes. This is just another matter we have to figure out as we go.
At what age would you let your daughter wear “naughty” shoes? What makes a shoe sexy? Has your child ever received a gift that you didn’t quite know how to handle?
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This is great food for thought. I agree, that our culture (in general, anyway) pushing sexiness in girls younger and younger. I think it is a dangerous trend and one that we have to be careful about when shopping for our girls. I am one of those moms that wants my daughter to just be ‘cute’ not ‘sexy.’
Sigh…another learn as you go thing in parenting!
Thanks Johanna. I think that’s a good mantra “cute not sexy.”
We haven’t received any naughty shoes, yet….
I like to keep my kids young as long as possible. No naughty shoes for us. Now she does play dress up and likes to wear mommys shoes, but they are not that exciting! lol
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Mommy’s shoes are always a good time. Thanks Anne.
I absolutely agree with you! Wait for the real thing…that’s the key. Unfortunately there are more and more high-heels for toddlers, too. First they should learn how to walk in normal shoes.. That would be the ideal, not growing up as a two-year-old.
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Thank you Lily. I’ve seen toddler high heels for sale, but I haven’t actually seen a child wearing them. I hope I never do.
Growing up, my parents (who raised four girls!) always had a motto, that more or less said “if you don’t wait until you’re older to experience those things, what will you do when you get to that age?” Maybe it sounds better in Spanish, but the point is, they believed that if you got too ahead of yourself, that you’d be more likely to push the envelope when you were older. So I agree, something are better off waiting until they’re a little older, and that will be in no time, anyway.
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Thanks Maria. Wow, four girls! I bet your parents have a lot of wisdom on raising daughters. I definitely agree that you have to leave something for kids to grow into (no cell phones at four years old).
Honestly, I think those shoes are a little too flashy for a toddler. I am not very modest and even I think that they are too fancy – small children don’t need glitz. I think it’s part of the sexualization of our youth – young girls are being trained by the fashion and retail industry to be cute, then to be fashionable, then to be sexy…but the time they are 12. It’s SO WRONG.
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Thank you Jenn. It really is a slippery slope from cute to provocative.
I know this isn’t really the point but I’m of the thought that high heels are dangerous even for ADULTS who wear them but don’t know how to walk in them. I know I’m totally “captain safety” but I would worry more about twisted ankles and foot problems that heels cause than the actual sexiness of the shoe!
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I hear you. Have you ever seen a woman trying to cross the street in these super high heels? I have and it’s not pretty. Ouch!
Just as a guy, I guess I have never really thought of shoes as a ‘sexy’ thing in and of themselves. I think the designer would have to really go out of their way with risque desings, logos, or other such things for that to even enter my mind. I would see it just as I would a fancy hat or a frilly dress… Cute but unnecessary.
If I saw a little girl wearing red high-heels my first thought would be more along the lines of “I hope they don’t fall” or “I hope they don’t develop foot problems thinking they need to wear something like that to look cute”.
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Thanks Jai. Lovely to have a male perspective. You bring up a good point. Super high footwear is particularly dangerous for young girls.
I agree with Jai. I really wouldn’t think “sexy” right away, I’d think “that’s insanely awkward for someone young to wear.” Thigh high boots or low cut tops, short skirts, those are things you could see as sexy and I definitely think is inappropriate for young girls. Having two boys, I can’t really say at what age I think it’d be appropriate at all, but heels and toddlers really shouldn’t be said in the same sentence.
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Thanks Andrew. Well said: “that’s insanely awkward for someone young to wear.”
Girl I’m with you! Let the little girls be little girls. Once they are adults they will have the rest of their lives to be sexy in high heels. Well, that’s until the knees get bad and the feet go flat. lol I have a problem with making young girls look like sex kittens. Let’s just stir up the pedophiles why don’t we? Not!
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I hear you Kenyatta. Kids grow up fast enough as it is. Let’s not push them.
I like my little girl to wear little girl shoes. I’m not sure what you’re considering naughty shoes though, I dont think I’ve seen inappropriate shoes in the store when shopping for her.
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“I’m talking about super chunky soles, six-inch heels, and mid-thigh boots.” Thankfully I have not seen these in toddler sizes, but I do see that “teens and tweens are rocking these styles.” Lord help us if they start making thigh high boots for two year olds.
If they wear them to “be like mommy” around the house, that wouldn’t bother me in the least. If they’re actually using more grown-up words like sexy, etc. then I would be very uncomfortable.
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Good point Liz. It’s cool if my daughter wants to play dress up in mommy’s shoes. But if she wants her own pair of heels, and as you said, starts taking about what’s sexy, we’re going to have to talk about it.
I don’t like my daughter wearing anything but cute things.
Don’t want her growing up too soon!
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Agreed. Keep it cute. No no sexy.
I love those sandals! I’ve never seen a child actual wear the high heels and things that are just not appropriate, or even healthy for their foot development and I hope I don’t. Cute in pictures, not in real life.
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Thanks Mandi. I wish I could say I haven’t seen young girls (like 10 years old) wearing super high heels, chunky heels, etc. But I have.
I get where you are coming from. My daughter got a pair of chunk heels from grandma once and I though the same thing. Swimsuit season is also not one of most favorite times of year. I cringe when I go to buy suits for my girls. String bikinis for a 4 year old are not high on my fav’s list.
Thanks Jen. I bought my daughter’s first swimsuit this summer. Strangely, there were more two pieces in her size than one pieces. We ended up with a one-piece Hello Kitty suit.
I dread dealing with all of these types of issues with my daughter. By the time she’s 5 years old, I’m scared of the type of things that will be out for her to wear and play with.
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I hear you Crystal. And just think, we have the teen years to look forward to. Yowzer.
My daughter just turned 12, but she is a very petite, young 12. We struggle with shoes and clothing all the time. When we purchase a skirt that actually fits her, it’s usually quite short. Even if she wears leggins under, it could look “sexy” to the wrong person. Shoes, ugh, my least favorite category. Emma, my cherub, looks glittery, sparkly, high heels. She absolutely cannot own a pair, but she wants them. I wear Converse everyday or my life, that is unless I’m wearing my Danskos. Where she gets these ideas is beyond me.
At the end of the day, we do the best we can and hope that our children make good choices.
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