Swim Diapers and Why I’m Mad at Every Mother I Know

Swim Diaper Avenger – Rescuing Moms and Kids from Pool Time Disaster

It’s been more than a week and my irritation has only started to wane. While I deserve an apology from every mother I know, I am no longer holding my breath for it. I’ll explain more on that later. First I have to tell you about something very special that happened last Saturday.

My daughter had a birthday party to attend–actually it was her third party this month. What made this party extra special was that it was a swim party. I refused to let her sit poolside. I began to prepare weeks in advance for what would be her very first swim.

I Googled. I asked other moms. I checked out the message boards. What are the proper safety measures for an 18-month old? Correction, an 18-month old who has never even seen a pool.

In the end, I purchased a Dora the Explorer swim vest, an adorable Hello Kitty swimsuit and eye goggles. My mother kind of laughed at me when I asked her if eye goggles were overkill.

I had to get something for myself too. The maternity swimsuits were either hideous or hideously expensive. I managed to find something on the clearance rack that didn’t make me look like a beach ball.

The big day arrived and we were ready.

My daughter loved the one-foot toddler pool because she could still walk around. She didn’t mind getting splashed, which I am told is half the battle of teaching little ones to swim. Inspired, I took her to the 3-foot pool.

That swim vest wouldn’t let her float upright. It kept forcing her to float on her back, which she didn’t like one bit. She fussed, flailed her arms, and grabbed me around the neck so tight I couldn’t breathe.

At some point I accepted the reality that my daughter would not take to the water like an Olympian on the first day. We got out of the pool. This is where I got mad at every mother I’ve ever known, whether family member or stranger at the sporting goods store where I purchased that darn swim vest.

My daughter’s diaper had exploded. She was covered in little bits of clear jelly. The security guard warned that she could not get back in the pool. As if we were getting back in there with baby girl looking like a giant Hello Kitty snow cone.

Why didn’t anyone tell me that they are supposed to wear special swim diapers? Do you think anyone else’s child looked like two pounds of crushed ice? No!

I’ve got some theories on why no one clued me in. Other moms don’t like me. They want to see me fail. No one told them about the swim diaper so they figured they wouldn’t save me the heartache.

On the flip side, maybe other moms do like me–I’m cool beans. Maybe they don’t live to laugh at my goof ups. Maybe the moms in my life just plain forgot about this minute part of motherhood. Kind of like they forgot to tell me that my daughter would pluck out her own hair bands and chew them like bubble gum. And I forgot to tell my friend not to put wet burp cloths in the laundry basket. Hello mold.

The day wasn’t a total bust. We spent the rest of the party under a canopy, while baby girl danced, blew kisses, and just basically charmed everyone.

As we headed home, I peeked in her goodie bag for snacks to steal. What did I find? A swim diaper of course.

Ever experienced an exploding diaper? What little tidbits of advice do you have for the rookie moms out there? Do you ever steal treats from your child’s goodie bag?

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About Nicole Robinson

Nicole Robinson is a Dallas-based freelance writer who specializes in college planning, parenting, women’s lifestyle, education, and self-help. But she's always hungry to munch on new topics. In addition to writing for The BookWormMama blog, Nicole provides content, copywriting and proofreading services for various publications.

Comments

Swim Diapers and Why I’m Mad at Every Mother I Know — 19 Comments

  1. I don’t think other moms HATE you!  Maybe they thought you already knew about them?  (PS:  Buy them the next size up after summer, they are SO much more reasonable that way!!)
     
    But, I don’t understand why the goodie bag had a swim diaper in it – why didn’t they had them out as you came in … or include them in the invite?  
     
    I steal candy from my kids all the time! :D 

  2. I have used swim diapers in the past and never had any problems! Did you try another one from that pack? Maybe it was just a bad one? You could instead buy a reusable swim diaper from a cloth diaper store! They work great too.

  3. Haha, that’s pretty funny! I doubt the other moms even noticed she didn’t have a swim diaper on since it was under her bathing suit. We go swimming with other babies & toddlers all the time and I assume they’re all wearing either disposable or cloth swim diapers but there’s not way to tell since they’re under they’re bathing suits. 

  4. That is pretty funny but I am sure when you are in the situation, with crystals all over, it is not so funny. I am sure no one noticed that she wasn’t wearing a swimmie. I put Zane in all the time w/o a swimmie. I did have an incident today though where I have learned that a swimmie diaper is necessary. Not my kid, but the pool got shut down- I think you know where I am going with this story! LOL

  5. I was lucky enough to have heard about swim diapers before I took my daughter for her first swim. However, it wasn’t until swimming with another mom who hadn’t heard of them, that I understood what the difference was. Her poor little girl’s diaper swelled up so huge, but luckily did not burst. Once I had my son, I had learned about re-usable swim diapers, which are an amazing money saver if you frequent the pool or beach a lot. Plus, you can get them in super-cute designs.

  6. Well, at least she didn’t poop in the pool and cause an evacuation! We use a one size cloth pocket diaper with no insert in it. Will work from birth until out of diapers and cost $6!
    New visitor from mom&pop group: Laura from Shiny Little Stars custom jewelry.

  7. Pingback: Let’s Debate: How young is too young for a bikini? | BookWormMama.com

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